LOVE AS GIVING - GIVING AS LOVE
LOVE HAS BEEN A FOCUS OF HUMAN ATTENTION MORE THAN ANY OTHER EMOTION.A FAVORITE TOPIC FOR NOVELISTS, POETS, PHILSOPHERS AND CLERICS, WE ARE ALL EAGER FOR THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING LOVED. BUT, SOMETIMES, WE SEPARATE IT FROM BEING LOVING, GIVING TO SOMEONE ELSE. YET, IT IS ONLY WITHIN THIS ONE EMOTION, OUT OF THE FIVE PRIMARY ONES; FEAR, ANGER, SADNESS, HAPPINESS, AND LOVE, CAN WE BE GENEROUS WITH THE LAST ONE, LOVE. WHEN WE THINK OF PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS, OUR UNDERSTANDING EASILY MOVES TO THE IDEA THAT THE PARENT WILL GIVE TO THE CHILD, THE HOPE BEING THAT, IN SO DOING, AS THE PARENT AGES, IT WILL BE RETURNED. BUT, IN HETEROSEXUAL LOVE, BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, THIS IS NOT ASSUMED; ONE MAY GIVE MORE TO THE OTHER.STILL, GIVING FOR THE PURE SAKE OF GIVING, IS THE MOST TREASURED, AS IN THE COMMANDMENT IN BOTH THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENT; 'LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.' WHAT DOES GIVING/LOVE ACTUALLY DO? FOR ONE, IT ESTABLISHES A BOND; A SIMPLE SAYING OF 'I LIKE/LOVE BEING WITH YOU' MAKES YOU FEEL WANTED, RECOGNIZED, UNDERSTOOD, CARED ABOUT. IT ALSO SHOWS YOUR INTENTIONS; 'I WOULD SO WANT TO GIVE YOU THE BIRTHDAY GIFT YOU LONG FOR. JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS.' WE SAY THIS EASILY TO CHILDREN, BUT HOW OFTEN DO WE SAY THIS TO THE ADULT IN OUR LIFE? EVEN ANIMALS GIVE. IN OUR BOOK "JUNKFOODBEAR," HE LEARNS TO GIVE AFTER JUST FOCUSING ON HIMSELF AND HIS EATING, SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING, A WAY OF ELIMINATING HIS INNER EMPTINESS WHICH IS WHAT OVEREATING IS. LATER, HE LEARNS TO RESPOND TO OTHERS WHO REACH OUT TO HIM, FOR GIVING IS; BEING ABLE TO TAKE AS WELL. IT IS RECIPROCAL. WE ARE ALL BORN WITH THE ABILITIY, THE NEED TO LOVE. LOVE MEANS ATTACHMENT. WE DO NOT LIVE ALONE IN OUR WORLD. CHILDREN ABANDONED DIE WITHOUT A REPLACEMENT OF SOMEONE WHO CARES. ROMANTIC LOVE CARRIES WITHIN THE BASICS OF ATTACHMENT AND CAREGIVING: SEX. BOTH MEN AND WOMEN SEEK THIS,ITS DEGREE ESTABLISHED BY DIFFERING PERSONALITY STYLES, BUT A NECESSITY FOR BOTH. AND SO, GIVE FREELY OF YOURSELF. OUR BEAR DID AND SEE WHAT HE EARNED, IN RETURN; LOVE OF OTHERS, CARING, APPLAUSE. THEY'RE YOURS FOR THE GIVING.
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I agree with you completely! For parents unconditional love is accepted and expected we are shocked when we learn of parent child relationships where this isn't the case. Yet with relationships with our spouse or significant other we often get too comfortable and take each other for granted forgetting all the wonderful things we did for each other that made us feel so special when we first met. If only one half of the couple would make an effort to make their loved one feel special again the other would reciprocate bringing back that close loving relationship they had in the beginning.
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